I stopped living for the outcome

Philadelphia | 7:07AM

When I started this entrepreneurship journey I had no idea how taxing it was going to be on my mental health. Going in and out of depression because I was trying to keep up with people / comparing myself. Trying to keep up with this image that everyone had of me and not creating for myself. Once I started to unpack all of these things to figure out why I wasn’t happy anymore something came up. I realized that I was living in the outcome and not the actual present journey I should be grateful to be in. I realized that I was getting so frustrated with myself because I was subconsciously living in the future of where I thought I should be and not actually worrying about what it takes to truly get there. Once I stopped living there and fully embraced my journey, which is essentially the best part, my level of production and creativity completely changed.

Grateful

Philadelphia | 7:55PM EST

Ive been having a weird week. I battle with being on top of the world one week then the next week I feel like i’m at my lowest. I really don’t know where that comes from but i’m finally going to try therapy. I owe it to myself and those around me. Today I woke up and chose gratitude though. Im grateful for all that is happening to me and all that his around me. Im living in my dream loft, money is flowing, my family is still together, i’m healthy, supportive friends and partner, etc. Im grateful to be able to even feel these feelings and deal with them. The first step is awareness. Meditating for 20-30 minutes each morning had opened up new portals of thinking. I have to keep reminding myself that life is only happening for me and that people would love to be in the position i’m so lucky to be in my life.

Today i’m letting gratitude control the narrative.

Scared of success?

Philadelphia | 7:48AM EST

“With great power comes great responsibility”

I constantly have this quote repeating in my head. My life is slowly changing for the better and i’m realizing that i’m going to have to make some serious lifestyle changes. I noticed that I have been in my own way at times because i’m either too lazy or too scared to live up to what god already laid out for me. Knowing that Im going to have to drop certain habits, learn knew things, change my daily routine, etc. scares me and excites me. One thing I do keep in mind is that if I wasn’t built for this these opportunities woudln’t be flowing my way. My 20’s were meant for exploring and trying new things. Now that i’m 30 and entering a new decade, i’m ready for this challenge to elevate my life!

Change

Philadelphia | 6:21AM EST

We’re all in this dynamic exchange between the world constantly changing and us humans having to adapt to it. Along with our personal life. This morning I thought about how I don’t give myself enough grace for being someone who doesn’t have a hard time adapting to change. Especially within the past two years! I started thinking about what the root of that stems from and it brought me back to my past life of playing football ( yes I played running back for 13 years =) I was taught to learn how to deal with adversity and change at a young age. It was embedded in me. When you’re in a football game, there is absolutely no time to dwell or get excited about the play that just happened. Wether you fucked up or scored a big touchdown, you have to quickly forget about the past and adapt to what’s about to happen on the next play. Preparing and studying for a game all week then all of a sudden you’re star QB goes down on the first play. Or the defense you studied all week ended up having a completely different formation so you have to quickly adjust your game plan. There was no time to get hooked on a certain emotion and if you did there was no doubt that the next play would wake your ass up to that present moment. The game is constantly changing. Every snap. If I fumbled the ball I had to go into the next play and act like that didn’t happen. “You better get your ass up and get back into the huddle” is what my coaches would always preach.

All of those scenarios quickly taught me how to deal with adversity and adapt to change without even knowing it. Now in my adult years i’m finally realizing that i’ve carried that with me throughout my whole life. Ive been in some pretty uncomfortable situations in my life chasing this dream that I have. I realized that I was always ok with it because I knew how to alter whatever the situation was. The changes within business can happen fast. Losing money, not hitting your goals, losing team members, etc. is all apart of the game but if I never learned how to deal with adversity i’m sure my outcome would be a lot different. The changes within yourself, family, relationships, etc. always alternate as well. That’s the whole point of being here. To experience that dynamic exchange. It keeps life exciting.

Today I give myself grace

“You better get your ass up and get back into that huddle”

— Coach

the power of commitment

Philadelphia | 6:25AM EST

Commitment is a word that keeps popping up for me..especially within business. A word that gets tossed around often but never deeply looked at. Within my life, i’ve noticed an old pattern where I would say and get excited about certain things but would never finish projects or would never keep my word in certain friendships, plans, business, relationships, personal growth, etc. Commitment is the substance of it all. It gives you more clarity towards purpose and allows us to step into that king & queen energy.. It starts with self..being honest about who you are affects your level of commitment towards everything else in your life. All of my intentions and goals mean absolutely nothing without that level of focus. Taking each day to make sure that everything I touch and say comes from a deep level of understanding. Brick by brick. Every move has to be precise. The more I lock in and dedicate my life to committing to my purpose is when life starts to happen for me.

““Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans.” ”

— – Peter F. Drucker